« Getting clarity on your own and very personal standards of success. »
One key component of happiness, fulfillment and balance in life is to be clear with your personal and professional vision of this subjective concept which is success. What is your unique definition of it – apart from the feudal definition derivated from the common sense of our economic dictates ? All aspects of one’s life wether health, finances, career, relationships, competences, mind or personal development are components of how successfully one is living. Zooming on the field of career, determining what is your personal standards of satisfaction at work, work meaning, personal investment and process of growth will help to reach the successful life you deserve. Then, what are you doing in order to improve, achieve and enjoy your own success ?
« Aiming high and having big goals doesn’t mean being Idealistic »
The discovery of a second principle personnally changed my life when I was stuck professionally. As a maximizer, I was targetting Ideals. On one hand, it is what made me achieve higher goals, but, on the other hand this distortion greatly hindered my quality of life. No matter the quantity and quality of job I was able to provide, I was obsessed by what I could offer more. Never at peace, always dissatisfied by wanting the best in everything, the big fear of being judged made me counter-productive. I felt so miserable, judging more and punishing myself for not living up to my ideals.
« The concept of « Good enough » work »
The concept of « Good enough* » can be extended to the career field : « Your life’s work doesn’t have to be perfect, it only has to be good enough, even if you still aim high ». Because complete perfection is impossible, this model offers an opportunity to cope with an acceptable imperfection as a matter of fact. Even if from the imperfection of life, lies the room for improvement and capacity to grow toward new accomplishments, it could as well becomes too much and toxic. Not being too tough is already a great achievement. Aiming high and having big goals while being consistent and aware when things are good enough is deeply satisfying. Working in a non idealistic but very real way is good enough for satisfaction and brings honour and dignity. Going beyond the limiting beliefs of Ideals make move on !
« From Ideal to Good »
This concept is adressed for perfectionnists but doesn’t concern those who feels lazy in giving 100% of themselves in achieving high goals in their life. Indeed, it should not be an excuse for not giving your best. If one is under-accomplishing goals, this concept may even get away from ambitions and the will to act.
(*Donald Winnicott in 1950’s « developped one helpful response to parents who always were trying their best to be the ideal and perfect parent for their children and yet were experimenting frustration, anger and despair by seeing the gap between their ideal and the reality of what their family was turning out to be. He developped the concept of « good enough parent » by explaining how children don’t need an ideal parent, but are in need of an « OK », well intentioned and generally but not always warm and reasonable mother or father. He emphasised this because he realised « in order to become well-balanced, robust and enduring souls, we need to be people who can cope with imperfection and can resist torturing themselves trying to be what no ordinary human can be ». This concept gives dignity to a failure to live up to a punishing, counter-productive ideal. It pointed out that much that is really important and lastingly valuable goes on at a much lower level than the flawless and problem-free »